Adopted is Another Word for Wanted
The Beautiful Challenge of Adoption
This blog post is written by an adoptee, psychologist and hopeful adoptive mother.
When I came home that first day, my parents could hardly believe I was real. They had grieved their dreams of parenthood, settling on a baby bulldog. My mom had multiple miscarriages due to endometriosis, and was told by her doctor that she couldn’t have a baby. She learned this news while working as a counselor for women with unplanned pregnancies. She never disclosed her personal struggle to become a mom until one night a phone call from a co-worker from the adoption agency would change the course of all of our lives.
Anxiety and a Child Through Adoption
This blog post is written by a guest blogger and is a perspective we don’t get to hear very often, the perspective of a dad through adoption.
I’ve always had a favorable view of adoption. I have a niece who was adopted by my sister and her husband. Although I’m quite sure there have been tough times, I always saw a well adjusted family with love in their hearts. Because this was my experience, when my wife and I began looking into adoption to grow our family, I was not skeptical. I was completely optimistic.
Immediately upon beginning the adoption process you are presented with life changing questions…
My Journey to An Open Adoption
A guest writer shares her experiences with anxiety in her pre-teen son through adoption.
Anxiety and the adopted child often times go hand-in-hand. The hard part about diving into adoption is you have no idea the issues you will experience with your child as they grow and face the realities of their story. Every adoptee has to face their story in different stages of life. I can only speak to walking with my child on his adoption story for the last 10 years, but one of the themes I have experienced with my son is that anxiety and adoption tend to go together.
A Love-Hate Relationship with Mother’s Day
When my husband Ray and I started the adoption process, the thing we were scared about most was “open adoption”. We learned quickly that most domestic adoptions were “open”, but that had many different meanings. We pictured open adoption as a co-parenting situation, and had fears that our child wouldn’t bond with us or feel like we were her “real parents” if we had an open adoption with our child’s birth family (and yes I cringe too that I even wrote “real parent” in my blog as something I thought and possibly even said out loud)! Luckily we learned a lot over the course of our adoption journey.
Infertility - A Lonely Battle
Oh Mother's Day ... you can bring so much joy and so much pain to so many. When I was single and in my mid-30s, I often wondered if I'd ever be a mother. Mother's Day seemed to be the day where someone stuck a knife in my heart a little and twisted it around, as I watched my friends and family celebrate a role I desperately wanted. When I finally met my husband, got married and started trying for a family, we went through a round of IVF that failed right before Mother's Day. Probably due in part to all the hormones I still had flowing through my body, I remember bursting into tears during our Pastor’s message at church, ultimately leaving early and ignoring the holiday altogether the rest of the day.
The Adoption Tax Credit
This week is Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility sucks - there’s really no other way to put it. Actually, I can think of a lot of words I’d use to describe infertility, but most of them would need to be censored.
The Truth About Adoption Costs
Happy Tax Day! If you’re a hopeful adoptive family, you might be interested in learning more about the Adoption Tax Credit and how you might benefit from it if/when you incur expenses relating to the adoption of a child. The credit, which has been part of federal tax law since 1997, allows adoptive families to defray some of the costs incurred when they grow their families through adoption. It has helped bring together hundreds of thousands of families, many of whom would not have been able to grow their families through adoption without it.
5 Adoption Myths Debunked
Are you considering adoption, but are unsure of the various costs you may incur in order to adopt? The costs you might see in a domestic infant adoption will vary considerably depending on the type of adoption (private/independent, attorney, or agency adoption) and the state from which you are adopting. The adoption professionals recommended by Purl typically have adoption opportunities with total costs (including home study related costs) ranging between $8,000 and $50,000, with the majority falling between $25,000 and $37,000. In this article, we break down the types of costs hopeful adoptive parents may incur during their adoption journey.
Endometriosis - The Painful Diagnosis that Opened My Heart to Adoption
Are you someone who is considering adoption, but is scared off by the contradictory things you’ve heard about the domestic infant adoption process? Here’s a list of five myths we commonly hear about adoption - debunked.
My Child By Adoption is Not "Lucky"...
March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. I have suffered from endometriosis since High School and I assume my condition related at least in part to some of my fertility issues. Endometriosis is a painful chronic condition affecting more than 5 million women in the U.S. alone.
5 Smart Questions to Avoid the Home Study Headache
On this St. Patrick’s Day, my beautiful little girl through adoption (who is likely at least some part Irish with her beautiful auburn hair) will dress up in green, put her Shamrock stickers all over our house, and her face is likely to be covered at some point in Mint Chip Ice Cream. However, we will not talk about her having the “Luck of the Irish” because she ended up in our family.
10 Ways to Boost Your Adoption Outreach
So, you are about to launch your adoption journey. How exciting! One of the first steps is tackling the home study. The aim is to tackle, not be tackled. The game plan - ask smart questions!
The vision (AKA nightmare): stranger enters into your home with a white glove, evaluative checklist, trick questions about your parenting techniques and a red pen. This is not the way a home study should be conducted.
Protecting Your Child's Adoption Story
Adoption outreach refers to all of the actions that prospective adoptive families can take to find and be found by expectant parents considering an adoption plan for their child. Adoption outreach can range from simply telling friends and family to help spread the word that you’re looking to adopt, to leveraging various social media platforms, to paid advertising (where it is legal to utilize it). Here are ten ideas for DIY adoption outreach that help get the word out about your desire to adopt (and some will even help fund your adoption as well):
Adoption - A Necessary Part of Our Diversity Education
When you are an adoptive parent, you are bound to get questions from friends, family and strangers alike about the details of your child’s adoption story, particularly if you have adopted transracially. As a mom of two girls only eight months apart in age (and currently the exact same height), I can’t seem to get out of a public place without questioning stares and at least one person asking me how I managed to get two such adorable, but completely different looking children. I have never had a trip to Costco with the girls without someone asking me where Cora’s adorable auburn curls and gorgeous brown eyes came from.
Ten Tips to Make Your Family's Adoption Profile Authentic and Dynamic
Are you a parent who educates your child about diversity, in many different forms? Maybe you talk to your children and prepare them for meeting individuals of different races, cultures, sexual orientations, or even people with various disabilities, so that your child doesn’t say something hurtful or insensitive unknowingly? One thing that is often left out of that dialogue by parents is educating children about families that are formed through adoption. Most kids, and even many teachers, don’t know or forget that it is common for families to be made this way in the U.S., even when the adoption may not be visible to the naked eye.
Attachment in Adoption
The family profile is one of the most important pieces of your adoption journey. It is, after all, the primary way a prospective adoptive family is chosen by expectant parents considering an adoption plan for their child. From experience, we know it is key to be yourself and to represent your family authentically. But that is often easier said than done! If you are struggling to get your profile started, or if you have presented to many adoption situations without getting picked, here are 10 practical tips to make your family profile more authentic and dynamic:
Surviving a “Disrupted Adoption”
Sarah Crawford, PhD, LPC, is a child therapist and a parent coach in Arizona who specializes in working with parents to address issues related to attachment, parent-child relationships, and adoption. She helps parents identify what their unique situation needs, while helping parents deepen trust and strengthen family connections. We sat down with Sarah to better understand attachment and how attachment concerns can arise in adoption. Here's what Sarah had to say…
Featured Purl Team Member - Director of Graphic Design
October had always been one of my favorite months of the year. Living in Arizona, it is usually the first sign of cooler weather, football is in full swing and my three favorite holidays are on the horizon. When my husband and I were home study approved and certified to adopt in early August, we were quickly matched with an expectant mother due with a baby boy in mid-October. I was so excited about that being the month we would become parents. I purchased the cutest little bear Halloween costume for him and was thrilled to begin to get to know the expectant mother that would become our son’s birth mother. I couldn’t have predicted that on October 7 a sweet baby boy would be born, but by October 10, after cuddling him for days in the hospital, I would be one of so many in the adoption world to experience what is commonly called a “failed adoption.”
Most of you who know me (Katie) personally know that I’m not nearly creative or talented enough to create the gorgeous profile and adoption outreach materials that we have for Purl, but I’m smart enough to hire someone who does!
Today, we are featuring the amazing woman behind most of the graphic design work for Purl, Director of Graphic Design, Alison (Ali) Alvidrez.
Interested in adoption but overwhelmed by all the jargon and legal terms? As an adoptive mom who once was in your shoes, I know how intimidating it can be at the beginning of the process. Here are some common terms used in domestic infant adoption and what they typically mean within the adoption community.