Parenting Children with Horizontal Identities

This guest blog post is written by Ashley, a mother of three daughters through infant adoption. Her and her husband Jason are a former Purl family.

I’m raising three girls--my daughters--whose identities will be different from mine in a fundamental way. They were all adopted at birth, and unlike me, are raised by parents and others in our village who do not share their biology. This isn’t a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around anymore and while it shifts my identity as a mother and distances me from the experiences of most mothers I know just a bit, my entire family has been built on love and choice and taking purposeful steps forward, not blood--which I appreciate and feel great pride in. More importantly, though, this adoptee identity is one my children will wrestle with, wrestling that I can’t do for them. To read more, click the link below.

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Katie Zimmerman
Google Ads: More Exposure = More Opportunities for a Match

What if you could give your adoption profile to an expectant parent who is considering adoption at the exact moment she is asking herself, “How do I place my baby for adoption?” What if you could do this 40, 60, or even 80 times? Each month! This is what Google advertising offers adopting parents.

Google Ads is an online advertising platform. It encompasses several different types of ad approaches, but for simplicity (and I believe they’re the best type for adopting parents), we’ll focus on pay-per-click, or PPC ads.  To learn more, click here.

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Katie Zimmerman
What to Know About Parenting Transracial Adoptees

This guest blog post is written by Torie DiMartile about her own experience as a transracial adoptee.

Last week, in national news, a white supremacist opened fire at a Walmart in El Paso, Texas. The same week, in my little university town of Bloomington IN, the farmers market endured its second week of cancelled activity due to white supremacist threats. If you ask my mom, she’ll readily tell you that 26 years ago these terrifying racial headlines would have flickered across her screen with a pang of sympathy, but they would not have drastically impacted her daily life. Of course, she knew racism and violence existed, but it existed outside her own experience. Today, as the mother of a 26-year old transracial adoptee those headlines probably keep her up at night. To read more, click here.

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Katie Zimmerman
The Adoption Profile and How It's Used in the Adoption Process

Recently, I watched the Red Table Talk where Jada Pinkett Smith and her mother, Adrienne Banfield Norris, hosted former Sex and the City star Kristin Davis for a talk about transracial adoption. I really enjoyed this podcast and think it can help many families considering transracial adoption (I look forward to including a post just about transracial adoption soon). However, one thing I found really interesting about this podcast was that both Jada and her mom were very surprised that the birth mothers for Kristin’s two African American children had actually chosen Kristin to raise their babies. That made me realize that there are probably many other people that don’t understand the domestic adoption process, and that it might help to educate about how adoptive parents are typically chosen - usually through the use of an adoption profile. To read more, click here.

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Katie Zimmerman
Parenting A Biological Child and a Child Through Adoption

These are a few of the signs that hang in my daughters’ room. Both speak to where each of our girls come from, and what we believe…

I know that parenting a biological child along with a child through adoption presents different challenges than parenting two children who were adopted, or even two biological children. I am sure it is very different for an adoptee to grow up with siblings who look like their parents or a sibling that shares an adoption connection…

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Katie Zimmerman
Adopted is Another Word for Wanted

This blog post is written by an adoptee, psychologist and hopeful adoptive mother.

When I came home that first day, my parents could hardly believe I was real. They had grieved their dreams of parenthood, settling on a baby bulldog. My mom had multiple miscarriages due to endometriosis, and was told by her doctor that she couldn’t have a baby. She learned this news while working as a counselor for women with unplanned pregnancies. She never disclosed her personal struggle to become a mom until one night a phone call from a co-worker from the adoption agency would change the course of all of our lives. 

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Katie Zimmerman
The Beautiful Challenge of Adoption

This blog post is written by a guest blogger and is a perspective we don’t get to hear very often, the perspective of a dad through adoption.

I’ve always had a favorable view of adoption.  I have a niece who was adopted by my sister and her husband.  Although I’m quite sure there have been tough times, I always saw a well adjusted family with love in their hearts. Because this was my experience, when my wife and I began looking into adoption to grow our family, I was not skeptical.  I was completely optimistic.

Immediately upon beginning the adoption process you are presented with life changing questions…

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Katie Zimmerman
Anxiety and a Child Through Adoption

A guest writer shares her experiences with anxiety in her pre-teen son through adoption.

Anxiety and the adopted child often times go hand-in-hand. The hard part about diving into adoption is you have no idea the issues you will experience with your child as they grow and face the realities of their story. Every adoptee has to face their story in different stages of life. I can only speak to walking with my child on his adoption story for the last 10 years, but one of the themes I have experienced with my son is that anxiety and adoption tend to go together.

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Katie Zimmerman
My Journey to An Open Adoption

When my husband Ray and I started the adoption process, the thing we were scared about most was “open adoption”. We learned quickly that most domestic adoptions were “open”, but that had many different meanings. We pictured open adoption as a co-parenting situation, and had fears that our child wouldn’t bond with us or feel like we were her “real parents” if we had an open adoption with our child’s birth family (and yes I cringe too that I even wrote “real parent” in my blog as something I thought and possibly even said out loud)! Luckily we learned a lot over the course of our adoption journey.

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Katie Zimmerman
A Love-Hate Relationship with Mother’s Day

Oh Mother's Day ... you can bring so much joy and so much pain to so many. When I was single and in my mid-30s, I often wondered if I'd ever be a mother. Mother's Day seemed to be the day where someone stuck a knife in my heart a little and twisted it around, as I watched my friends and family celebrate a role I desperately wanted.  When I finally met my husband, got married and started trying for a family, we went through a round of IVF that failed right before Mother's Day. Probably due in part to all the hormones I still had flowing through my body, I remember bursting into tears during our Pastor’s message at church, ultimately leaving early and ignoring the holiday altogether the rest of the day.

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Katie Zimmerman
Infertility - A Lonely Battle

This week is Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility sucks - there’s really no other way to put it. Actually, I can think of a lot of words I’d use to describe infertility, but most of them would need to be censored.

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Katie Zimmerman
The Adoption Tax Credit

Happy Tax Day! If you’re a hopeful adoptive family, you might be interested in learning more about the Adoption Tax Credit and how you might benefit from it if/when you incur expenses relating to the adoption of a child. The credit, which has been part of federal tax law since 1997, allows adoptive families to defray some of the costs incurred when they grow their families through adoption. It has helped bring together hundreds of thousands of families, many of whom would not have been able to grow their families through adoption without it. 


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Katie Zimmerman
The Truth About Adoption Costs

Are you considering adoption, but are unsure of the various costs you may incur in order to adopt? The costs you might see in a domestic infant adoption will vary considerably depending on the type of adoption (private/independent, attorney, or agency adoption) and the state from which you are adopting. The adoption professionals recommended by Purl typically have adoption opportunities with total costs (including home study related costs) ranging between $8,000 and $50,000, with the majority falling between $25,000 and $37,000. In this article, we break down the types of costs hopeful adoptive parents may incur during their adoption journey.

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Katie Zimmerman
5 Adoption Myths Debunked

Are you someone who is considering adoption, but is scared off by the contradictory things you’ve heard about the domestic infant adoption process? Here’s a list of five myths we commonly hear about adoption - debunked.

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Katie Zimmerman
My Child By Adoption is Not "Lucky"...

On this St. Patrick’s Day, my beautiful little girl through adoption (who is likely at least some part Irish with her beautiful auburn hair) will dress up in green, put her Shamrock stickers all over our house, and her face is likely to be covered at some point in Mint Chip Ice Cream. However, we will not talk about her having the “Luck of the Irish” because she ended up in our family.

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Katie Zimmerman
5 Smart Questions to Avoid the Home Study Headache

So, you are about to launch your adoption journey. How exciting! One of the first steps is tackling the home study. The aim is to tackle, not be tackled. The game plan - ask smart questions!

The vision (AKA nightmare): stranger enters into your home with a white glove, evaluative checklist, trick questions about your parenting techniques and a red pen. This is not the way a home study should be conducted.

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Katie Zimmerman
10 Ways to Boost Your Adoption Outreach

Adoption outreach refers to all of the actions that prospective adoptive families can take to find and be found by expectant parents considering an adoption plan for their child. Adoption outreach can range from simply telling friends and family to help spread the word that you’re looking to adopt, to leveraging various social media platforms, to paid advertising (where it is legal to utilize it).  Here are ten ideas for DIY adoption outreach that help get the word out about your desire to adopt (and some will even help fund your adoption as well):

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Katie Zimmerman
Protecting Your Child's Adoption Story

When you are an adoptive parent, you are bound to get questions from friends, family and strangers alike about the details of your child’s adoption story, particularly if you have adopted transracially. As a mom of two girls only eight months apart in age (and currently the exact same height), I can’t seem to get out of a public place without questioning stares and at least one person asking me how I managed to get two such adorable, but completely different  looking children. I have never had a trip to Costco with the girls without someone asking me where Cora’s adorable auburn curls and gorgeous brown eyes came from.

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Katie Zimmerman
Adoption - A Necessary Part of Our Diversity Education

Are you a parent who educates your child about diversity, in many different forms? Maybe you talk to your children and prepare them for meeting individuals of different races, cultures, sexual orientations, or even people with various disabilities, so that your child doesn’t say something hurtful or insensitive unknowingly? One thing that is often left out of that dialogue by parents is educating children about families that are formed through adoption. Most kids, and even many teachers, don’t know or forget that it is common for families to be made this way in the U.S., even when the adoption may not be visible to the naked eye.

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Katie Zimmerman