As we have talked about more this National Adoption Awareness Month, we are trying to focus more on adoptees and how THEY feel about adoption, rather than continue to push the rosy narrative common of the adoptive parent and adoption professional. One thing I’ve (Katie: CEO/Found of Purl) found is that the education we provide at Purl is really helpful for adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents to understand how to better navigate the adoption process and position themselves for life after adoption, but it tends to take a few years to notice some of the impacts of adoption on their child directly and actually put that post-adoption education they receeived in practice with their children. So families are reaching out to me 2 to 3 years after adopting and asking how to handle those first few questions or emotions about adoption that come from their child. So this post will discuss resources, including adoption books, that we have found helpful for talking to children about adoption.
Luckily, our Purl Families are always privy to our education and community even after adoption, and there are in-house resources for our Purl families, recorded and live coaching calls we have had where we role play and help families navigate this space as well as a community of Purl families to discuss these issues with. However, I thought I’d write a short piece to help all adoptive families have some great resources at their fingertips.
I always recommend starting with books about adoption at young ages, specifically books that recognize both the loss and the beauty of adoption! Kids need to see that the conflicting feelings they have about adoption are normal and accepted by those who love them. So make sure the adoption books you’re sharing aren’t all “sunshine and rainbows” as that is not the reality of adoption and does not correctly reflect how they may be feeling about adoption. Here are a few I use personally with my daughter and recommend to our Purl families:
- Being Adopted by Amy Wilkerson
- Adoption is Both by Elena S. Hall
- Frankie and Friends Talks Adoption by
- W.I.S.E. Up Program (with associated books and programs for both parents and kids)
- Growing Grace by Erin Mason (showing the emotions of a birth mother in adoption)
- Learning About My Friend’s Adoption by Allison Olson (good to help educate classmates about adoption)
Note that there are a lot of adoption-themed books that are ALL sunshine and rainbows. So do your homework and make sure to buy and read the book first or check them out at the library. There have been many adoption books I have purchased and chosen NOT to read to my child because they focus only on the beauty of adoption, rather than the conflicting emotions most adoptees will feel. Adoption is complex, and you want your child through adoption to understand that varying emotions about adoption are normal and accepted in your home.
There are also some great workbooks that are helpful for adoptees to process adoption, check these out:
Here are some great resources from the Child Welfare Information Gateway as well.
I personally use children’s books to talk to my kids about all different topics (fear, anxiety, trauma, diversity, dyslexia, lying, ADHD), not just topics related to adoption. I found that sometimes talking about the emotions that result from the complexity in adoption don’t need to be addressed through books specifically about adoption. I would definitely check out @maistorybooklibrary on Instagram or her website here, as she details children’s books for every topic you can think of!
I also love teaching my kids about emotions and how to deal with them young and love this set of A Little SPOT of Emotion Box Set that talks about different emotions and how they make you feel while letting your child play and interact with plush toys that represent their feelings. Even though we haven’t read these books regularly in a while, and the plush spot toys are long lost somewhere in a toy bin, my kids still reference them when they talk about their emotions.
What are some of your other favorites? We are always adding to our list of recommended books and programs! I’m personally not much of a podcast listener, but I know that is also an area many learn from. Please share with us your favorite podcasts that help address these issues for kids or for adoptive parents to better educate or prepare themselves for adoption and the complex nature of it. You can email us at [email protected] with any recommendations or share on our social media!
To learn more about our services at Purl, click here to complete a form and schedule a free consultation!
As we have talked about more this National Adoption Awareness Month, we are trying to focus more on adoptees and how THEY feel about adoption, rather than continue to push the rosy narrative common of the adoptive parent and adoption professional. One thing I’ve (Katie: CEO/Found of Purl) found is that the education we provide at Purl is really helpful for adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents to understand how to better navigate the adoption process and position themselves for life after adoption, but it tends to take a few years to notice some of the impacts of adoption on their child directly and actually put that post-adoption education they receeived in practice with their children. So families are reaching out to me 2 to 3 years after adopting and asking how to handle those first few questions or emotions about adoption that come from their child. So this post will discuss resources, including adoption books, that we have found helpful for talking to children about adoption.
Luckily, our Purl Families are always privy to our education and community even after adoption, and there are in-house resources for our Purl families, recorded and live coaching calls we have had where we role play and help families navigate this space as well as a community of Purl families to discuss these issues with. However, I thought I’d write a short piece to help all adoptive families have some great resources at their fingertips.
I always recommend starting with books about adoption at young ages, specifically books that recognize both the loss and the beauty of adoption! Kids need to see that the conflicting feelings they have about adoption are normal and accepted by those who love them. So make sure the adoption books you’re sharing aren’t all “sunshine and rainbows” as that is not the reality of adoption and does not correctly reflect how they may be feeling about adoption. Here are a few I use personally with my daughter and recommend to our Purl families:
- Being Adopted by Amy Wilkerson
- Adoption is Both by Elena S. Hall
- Frankie and Friends Talks Adoption by
- W.I.S.E. Up Program (with associated books and programs for both parents and kids)
- Growing Grace by Erin Mason (showing the emotions of a birth mother in adoption)
- Learning About My Friend’s Adoption by Allison Olson (good to help educate classmates about adoption)
Note that there are a lot of adoption-themed books that are ALL sunshine and rainbows. So do your homework and make sure to buy and read the book first or check them out at the library. There have been many adoption books I have purchased and chosen NOT to read to my child because they focus only on the beauty of adoption, rather than the conflicting emotions most adoptees will feel. Adoption is complex, and you want your child through adoption to understand that varying emotions about adoption are normal and accepted in your home.
There are also some great workbooks that are helpful for adoptees to process adoption, check these out:
Here are some great resources from the Child Welfare Information Gateway as well.
I personally use children’s books to talk to my kids about all different topics (fear, anxiety, trauma, diversity, dyslexia, lying, ADHD), not just topics related to adoption. I found that sometimes talking about the emotions that result from the complexity in adoption don’t need to be addressed through books specifically about adoption. I would definitely check out @maistorybooklibrary on Instagram or her website here, as she details children’s books for every topic you can think of!
I also love teaching my kids about emotions and how to deal with them young and love this set of A Little SPOT of Emotion Box Set that talks about different emotions and how they make you feel while letting your child play and interact with plush toys that represent their feelings. Even though we haven’t read these books regularly in a while, and the plush spot toys are long lost somewhere in a toy bin, my kids still reference them when they talk about their emotions.
What are some of your other favorites? We are always adding to our list of recommended books and programs! I’m personally not much of a podcast listener, but I know that is also an area many learn from. Please share with us your favorite podcasts that help address these issues for kids or for adoptive parents to better educate or prepare themselves for adoption and the complex nature of it. You can email us at [email protected] with any recommendations or share on our social media!
To learn more about our services at Purl, click here to complete a form and schedule a free consultation!
