To honor and recognize National Adoption Awareness Month this year, I’m going to post each day about some topic in adoption. I’ll start with telling you about me, the founder of Purl Adoption Advisory, the business I launched to the public two years ago this month. I’m an adoption advisor (otherwise known as adoption consultant) who acts as a planner and guide for prospective adoptive parents in a domestic infant adoption. I am an attorney by training, but left my corporate law job after adopting my daughter Cora because I felt like there was a better way to adopt and I was eager to help other families navigate the complex world of adoption. To learn more of my own adoption story, click here.

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Cora is now almost four, and has a younger sister named Raelyn that was born almost 8 months to the day after we adopted Cora. These two are best buds. I’m thankful that my infertility treatments a few years before didn’t work so that I would start the adoption process, leading me to Cora. I’m thankful that Raelyn surprised us with a healthy pregnancy without fertility drugs, that I was told wasn’t possible. I’m thankful for that even though I cringe at the almost immediate response I get from people when they hear those facts, “adoption always helps people get pregnant.”

These two girls (and their dad) are my everything. This business helps me spend more time than I ever could have had I remained a corporate attorney, while also helping others form their families through adoption.

One of my jobs as an advisor is to educate and remind my #purlfamilies that adoption isn’t all 🌈 s and ☀️. It begins with brokenness, and prospective adoptive parents beginning this journey need to love and respect the birth families who had to break their own hearts for their family to grow through adoption. I have to make sure my families understand that the adoptee is much more important than they are as adoptive parents, and they should always be focused on what is best for their child, even if it makes them as parents uncomfortable. That might mean a more open adoption than we anticipated originally, because it might lead to less feelings of abandonment and less issues with identity for our children.

I’ve learned so much since I was a naïve prospective adoptive parent, I’ve learned more about the loss, but also the beautiful side of adoption. I’ve learn about drug exposure in utero and the effect that can have on parents that are adopting these children. I’ve listened more to birth mothers and adult adoptees, and adult transracial adoptees about their experiences, to better prepare my families for their children and their interactions with all sides of the triad. I learned just how important the family profile was to us getting chosen by Cora’s mom, even though many don’t understand it’s significance or how it is used in the adoption process. .’I’ve also learned that many adoptive parents connected with expectant parents considering adoption online and through Adoption Outreach, rather than through an expensive adoption agency. I’ve learned to protect my child’s story, something I wish I had better understood at the time we adopted our daughter and were so proud to shout from the rooftops how she joined our family. I’ve had a lot of people say very insensitive things to me about adoption and about my child’s birth family, but also learned to more delicately respond and educate rather than insult the ignorant.

This month, I hope you’ll follow along as we cover some of these topics. We hope they are helpful for you in your own adoption journey, or even as a support to family and friends in the adoption process.

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