At Purl Adoption Advisory, we want all members of the adoption triad to feel cared for, honored and valued. While we exclusively help prospective adoptive families, we believe that all adoptive families should learn from the perspectives of adoptees and birth families. Today, a courageous woman shares on the blog today about placing her child with her adoptive family and answers some important questions regarding her experience.
-When you were going through the process of adoption, what was one of the best things your child’s adoptive family did to help support you?
“During the process of adoption, my adoptive family reached out to me regularly to check-in. They were not afraid to show that they cared for me and my child and they always respected my boundaries as well. I feel like the family understood this was a big step for me just like it was for them, so they were very gentle with conversations but also open and this allowed me to understand them better and become more comfortable.”
-What is something you wish people understood or knew about what it’s like being on this side of adoption?
“Something I wish people understood about this side of adoption is that this is not just a story to tell. The decision I made in choosing adoption is something that I continue to live with every day. However, I am so grateful that I was blessed with an extended family that is so open with me and supports the relationship I have with my child. “
-What has been something in choosing adoption that has been positive for you?
“Our open adoption. The thing I love most about having an open adoption is the extended family I have gained. Of course, I cherish the relationship with my child, but I’ve also become close with her mother, father and siblings. It’s been incredible to be a part of their growing family and to make memories with them too.”
-If you could share one piece of encouragement with an adoptive family, what would you say?
“If I had any words of encouragement for an adoptive family considering an open adoption, know that you are incredible for choosing this route. Having the chance to build a relationship with my adoptive family has been the most enjoyable part of adoption for me. It did take me some time to build that relationship, so please be patient! At first I didn’t realize it when I was in the process, but having a bond with your child’s adoptive family is the most important part.”
-If you could share one piece of encouragement with an expectant mother who is looking to place her child with an adoptive family, what would you say to her?
“I know this is a very difficult decision for you and I am so proud of you for considering all options available. After choosing open adoption, it took me some time before I was ready to communicate with the family again after having my baby and that is okay. The beautiful thing is that this is your choice and at your pace. Build a relationship with them and get to know the family. I am so grateful for how this process has turned out for both myself and child and it has been a beautiful thing to watch unfold. Be patient, and know that you are so brave and so loved.”