Adoption Guide Where to Start

In today’s post, we share the basic steps of the domestic infant adoption process. We outline the essential steps prospective adoptive parents must take to adopt in the US, providing a simple roadmap for navigating this complex journey. In this article, we remind readers that it is crucial to approach this journey with thorough research, emotional readiness, and a commitment to ethical practices, ensuring a smooth and successful adoption experience for the entire adoption triad.


Adopting a child is a life-changing journey filled with excitement, heartache, and often lots and lots of waiting. There are several types of adoption, including domestic infant adoption, adoption through the foster system, kinship adoption, and international adoption. Domestic infant adoption, in particular, involves adopting a newborn or young child within the US, often right from birth. The process involves many steps, including critical legal stages that require careful navigation. At Purl, we specialize in guiding families through this process, ensuring they are well-prepared and supported every step of the way. Below is an overview of the domestic infant adoption process. For a deeper dive into each step be sure to click the links throughout this post and visit our Learn page where we’ve covered this process extensively in our previous articles.

Step 1: Do Your Research!!

We cannot emphasize enough the importance of beginning your adoption journey with thorough research and keeping yourself educated moving forward. You need to understand the complexities, legalities, and emotional aspects of adoption. Read about the experiences of the entire adoption triad: adoptive parents and birth parents and adoptees to gain a balanced viewpoint. This foundational knowledge will prepare you for the steps ahead and help you make informed and ethical decisions.

Step 2: Begin Funding Your Adoption Journey

There is no beating around the bush here: Infant adoption is expensive. Over the last several years we have seen families spending an average of $40,000-45,000, with fees ranging from $20,000 – $65,000. Funding an adoption can be challenging, not everyone has tens of thousands of dollars readily available. Start thinking about how you plan to fund your adoption journey early in your process. Here are some general strategies to consider:

  • Budgeting and Saving: Create a strict budget to cut expenses and save money specifically for adoption. Set aside a portion of your income each month to build your adoption fund.
  • Applying for Loans: Consider low-interest adoption loans from banks or organizations that specialize in funding adoptions.
  • Side Hustles: Consider additional income sources, such as freelance work, selling handmade goods, or offering services, to supplement your savings.
  • Grants: Grants can significantly offset the costs. Adoption grant application processes typically require a completed home study, an application fee, and other documents. Many grants are awarded based on specific criteria, such as income, religion, or the type of child being adopted. Thoroughly research each grant organization’s requirements and tailor your application to their priorities. This can be time-consuming but is often worth the effort. Learn more about adoption grants in this article. Note that most grants will be paid directly to the adoption professional you plan to use for your adoption, not to you, and some organizations will not award a grant until you have been matched with a child.
  • Fundraising: Organize events or online campaigns to raise funds such as crowdfunding, t-shirt sales, garage sales, craft sales, etc. There are several dedicated Facebook groups for ideas and support in your fundraising efforts. When fundraising, it’s important to approach it with sensitivity, ensuring that you respect the dignity of all involved, particularly the adoptee. Read more about this here.

By mixing and matching these funding strategies, you may lighten the financial burden of adoption and focus on the journey ahead. Find more resources about funding your adoption in our blog post here.

Step 3: Begin Home Study

The home study is a critical step in the adoption process. It involves an evaluation of your home and lifestyle to ensure a safe environment for the child. Finding a reputable local provider for your home study is essential. Look for licensed agencies in your area that specialize in domestic infant adoption home studies. Note that some states allow home studies to be done by a private social worker, while others require the home study be completed by a licensed adoption agency. Home studies typically cost between $1,000 and $5,000, depending on the state and the provider. Before selecting a provider, ask questions about their licensing, expected timeframes, and any additional requirements.

The home study process involves background checks, medical evaluations, interviews, and home visits. You will need to gather documentation such as birth certificates, marriage licenses, financial statements, medical records, and references. You can typically complete a home study in 2 to 6 months, depending on the efficiency of your provider and how quickly you can gather the necessary documents. During the home study, you will have several visits with your social worker. The social worker will interview you and your spouse, getting to know your background, and views on adoption, parenting, and discipline. The home study serves as a legal requirement to show your profile to expectant mothers, do any of your own advertising, and finalize the adoption in court. It also reassures expectant parents and adoption professionals of the safety of your home. We delve into detail on the home study process in this article.

Step 4: Hire a Support Professional

We would be remiss if we didn’t put in a shameless plug for our services. Consider engaging an adoption advisor like Purl to guide you through this process. Schedule a consultation or coaching session with us early in your journey, so that you can get started on your adoption journey on the right foot. We provide invaluable support, from providing essential education to selecting ethical adoption professionals, to ensure you are well-prepared and informed throughout your adoption journey.

Step 5: Create Your Family Profile Book

The adoption profile is one of the most important parts of the domestic adoption process. It’s how you introduce yourself to expectant parents considering adoption for their child. We have found that having a professionally-crafted adoption profile is essential. In most cases, you won’t meet the expectant family in person before being chosen. Instead, your adoption profile will be presented to them, showcasing your story, lifestyle, and reasons for adopting. This profile should include information about your family, your home, your community, your extended family, and any pets you have. It should also explain why you are choosing adoption to grow your family. Fun facts and unique details about you and your family can make your profile stand out. At Purl, we can create 16-page magazine-style booklet that are both printed and digital, ensuring they meet the specific requirements of different adoption professionals. While it may be tempting to create your own profile book, professional design can make a significant difference in connecting with expectant parents. Authenticity and a genuine portrayal of your life are key to creating a compelling adoption profile! We talk about how important the profile book is in this blog post.

Step 6: Educate Yourself and Determine Your Adoption Preferences

The next step in the process involves making decisions about what circumstances you are open to and which you prefer to avoid in adoption situations/cases. This step is often glossed over or completely forgotten but it is crucial because it can determine the number of cases you will see and how fast this process will go. Determining your preferences can feel rather daunting. Take your time learning and seeking expert advice. Key areas to research include:

  • Drug and alcohol exposure in utero: In-utero substance exposure is very common due to the ongoing drug crisis in our country. If you are not open to adopting a child exposed to substances like methamphetamines, heroin, opioids, or fentanyl in utero, you will see fewer cases. We wrote a blog post about in-utero substance exposure, you can read it by clicking