Young adult adoptee shares her adoption story with us on the blog. Emily is an amazing 19 year old who enjoys painting and doing schoolwork during this strange season of COVID-19 and quarantine. She lives in Arizona with her family, including with her brother who is also adopted. Emily shares her perspective of what it is like being adopted in her family, and some encouragement for other adoptees and adoptive families.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I felt I just needed to be blunt. I often get calls from families that are hoping to adopt due to infertility or other obstacles creating their family naturally, but without a lot of understanding and knowledge about adoption, and the impact of it on all members of the adoption triad. So because of this, I just want to tell you that ADOPTION IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! Make sure you do your homework before you begin, and definitely before you bring your child home. It is okay if you research adoption and decide it isn’t for you. In my opinion, there isn’t enough education and preparation that happens in the typical home study process, and you need to do the work as prospective adoptive parents to make sure this is the route you want to take to grow your family. Click here to learn more.
An adoptive mom shares her reflection on her daughter’s first birthday and her heart for her daughter’s first mother.
After an adoption, the frequency of communication or openness in your child’s adoption could allow for an increased desire to share videos, pictures and/or your child’s milestones with your child’s birth family. Perhaps you and the birth family have decided not to share phone numbers or email addresses for privacy purposes or other reasons. It can be beneficial to use specific applications or websites for individuals like your child’s birth mother to utilize during a time she chooses, rather than receive a text message during a time she feels unable to emotionally process. Notifications or reminders of the adoption may not be preferred as a text message or email so that is why these other avenues can be resourceful, as they are utilized during times the individual chooses to use the application or visit the network. There are many communication methods that can positively include birth family in your child’s life as he or she grows up; as well as even nurture the relationship between you and your child’s birth parent(s). Here are some recommended applications and a brief description of their services for how they could serve post-adoption communication.
Open adoption and what that means can be a confusing and misunderstood subject. Today an adoptive mom, former Purl client and therapist shares her own thoughts on what open adoption isn’t, in order to address some of the misconceptions on the subject. To learn more, click here.
As I spoke about in my post from a few days ago (here), the domestic adoption process is so awkward in that you are essentially saying yes or no to a child. Sometimes you are doing it just by setting preferences in your adoption, but sometimes you’re actually reviewing a summary of an adoption opportunity and saying yes or no as to whether to present your family profile to the expectant family considering adoption for that child. When prospective adoptive parents start to consider their adoption preferences, many have no idea what they should say when adoption professionals ask what types of circumstances they would consider. Here are just a few of the things you should research and educate yourself on as you determine your adoption preferences, as well as some resources for helping you navigate these decisions.
One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences” and decide what types of adoption opportunities they want to see and have the opportunity “present” to.
I’ve heard of a few circumstances lately where prospective adoptive parents act entitled to the child they have been chosen for, both before and after the birth of the child, but before consents are signed. This is one area I feel like prospective adoptive parents pursuing domestic infant adoption need the most education on - the respect and love that is required for any expectant mother they come into contact with in their adoption journey, and ultimately for the birth mother for their child.
This blog piece is written by a guest blogger who has adopted two children through domestic infant adoption. I believe strongly that parents through adoption should protect their child’s story, that’s why this piece is being shared anonymously.
I’m totally in love with a woman who gave me so much of herself, so much of myself. And I hate her. I struggle reconciling these opposite, intense feelings, all for one person. How can I love someone so tragically? How can I hate her when I feel such gratitude? It was through counseling that I learned how normal it is. It was through counseling that I learned this is what it’s like to love an addict.
This guest blog post is written by Ashley, a mother of three daughters through infant adoption. Her and her husband Jason are a former Purl family.
I’m raising three girls--my daughters--whose identities will be different from mine in a fundamental way. They were all adopted at birth, and unlike me, are raised by parents and others in our village who do not share their biology. This isn’t a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around anymore and while it shifts my identity as a mother and distances me from the experiences of most mothers I know just a bit, my entire family has been built on love and choice and taking purposeful steps forward, not blood--which I appreciate and feel great pride in. More importantly, though, this adoptee identity is one my children will wrestle with, wrestling that I can’t do for them. To read more, click the link below.
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Purl Adoption Advisory are professional adoption advisors and not adoption facilitators.
The adoption advisory services that may be provided to you by Purl Adoption Advisory, LLC if you become a client are not legal services. Although the Founder/CEO Katie Zimmerman is a licensed, active attorney in the State of Arizona, in providing these adoption advisory services she is not providing legal services and is not serving as your lawyer. As a result, a client-lawyer relationship will not exist, which means that the Arizona Rules of Professional Conduct that relate to the client-lawyer relationship do not apply, including any protections normally afforded as part of a client-lawyer relationship. If you contact us via our form, you are not creating an attorney-client relationship.
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