Parenting is hard. I make mistakes as a parent ALL THE TIME! I'm learning to tell my kids when I make mistakes, so that they can learn from my mistakes as well. I made a lot of mistakes as a new adoptive parent as well, and I know I still ...
The guest speaker of today’s blog is a birth mom who wishes to stay anonymous. She shares with us a little bit about her daughter’s adoption and what it was like dealing the emotions that came with it. ——— According to an online search, regret is defined as a feeling ...
Purl’s new Adoption Advisor, Kelcie Grace, shares her family’s domestic infant adoption story - the joy, the heartache, and everything in between. She shares her experience working with and adoption advisor like Purl and why she decided to join the Purl team after completing her adoption. Click here to read Kelcie Grace’s story.
When looking through the section about adoption at any bookstore, you will find that most of the books are geared towards the adoptive parent audience. You may even find a few written for birth parents. We believe the best way to learn about adoption is from adoption perspectives, specifically the perspective of the adoptee, the part of the triad that doesn’t typically get to enter into adoption voluntarily. Today, we are sharing the perspective of an adoptee and Purl’s Administrative Assistant, Emily, who wanted to share more about her adoption experience. Keep in mind that all adoptions are different, there are both positive and negative stories of adoption from adoptees. Today she shares her perspective about the search for her biological family.
Creating a family through adoption comes with many complexities. Too often, these complexities are minimized or overlooked, and the impact can be catastrophic. Despite well-meaning adoptive parents, if there is not intentionality behind seeking ongoing education and support, children may be emotionally isolated and silenced, no matter how much love a family has to offer. Whether in the pre-adoptive phase or deep into the chapters of post adoption parenting, adoption focused therapy can be a transformative process for children and adoptive families and caregivers. To read more of this guest blog post, written by a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, MSW, and international, transracial adoptee, Amy Wilkerson, click here.
I’ve heard of a few circumstances lately where prospective adoptive parents act entitled to the child they have been chosen for, both before and after the birth of the child, but before consents are signed. This is one area I feel like prospective adoptive parents pursuing domestic infant adoption need the most education on - the respect and love that is required for any expectant mother they come into contact with in their adoption journey, and ultimately for the birth mother for their child.
One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences”, see adoption opportunities based on those preferences and then basically have to make a choice whether to “present” to an expectant parent choosing adoption for their child. Click here to read more about this awkwardness in the domestic infant adoption process.
During the month of November we raise awareness of adoption during National Adoption Awareness Month. While every type of adoption is recognized this month, the particular focus this month is to raise awareness about the urgent need for adoptive families for children and youth in foster care. The number of children and teens needing homes is evident by looking at AdoptUSKids or heart galleries typically showing available children by state. The history of National Adoption Awareness Month dates back to 1976 when the Governor of Massachusetts announced the first Adoption Week. This idea grew in popularity and quickly spread nation wide. In 1995, President Clinton expanded the week to the entire month of November. I have given other ideas on how to recognize National Adoption Day in years past. This year, to recognize National Adoption Awareness Month, we’re going to post each day about some topic in adoption, but focusing on education and helping families better understand the adoption process and what things you might experience if you adopt. To learn more about us and how we plan to cover National Adoption Awareness Month, click here.
I can’t help but focus on this key phrase now that I know more, now that I’ve spent five years listening to adoptees’ voices, particularly those adoptees that experience serious discontent with their adoptions. The phrase that hits me hard as the truth now: Different isn’t better. An adoptive parent may be able to offer a more financially stable home, more opportunities for education, extracurricular activities and travel. But, the trade off to that is that there was still maternal separation and that child will likely experience trauma and loss due to their adoption, in a transracial adoption, there might also be loss associated with separation from their culture. So that child’s life will definitely be different, the adoptee will face different hardships after an adoption than they would have had in their biological home, but there will be hardships nonetheless. Click here to read more on Katie’s reflections.
In this blog post, I (Tessa Reagan Vilte, Purl Adoption Advisor) share reflections on my sons first birthday. Birthdays in a family built by adoption can be different, there is a lot more weight and emotion that goes into them. In this post I share how this birthday, the whirlwind that was my child’s’ first year, the grief I was holding for him, his story and his birth mom caught up with me. Click here to read more of Tessa’s reflections on this day.