Today's blog post is written by Purl's newest adoption advisor, Aubrey, who is a former Purl client and a mom to three children through transracial adoption. Click here to read more!“What have we done?!” That was the first question my husband and I asked each other after we hung up the phone, we had just been told we were matched with TWINS 3 years after adopting our daughter; where I admit we still often ask that to one another, we now know that ‘what we have done’ is fill our home with love. I’m Aubrey Cortez, the newest adoption advisor at Purl Adoption Advisory, and that was the beginning of a happy ending I never imagined would be my own. Click here to read more.
My name is Tessa and I am an Adoption Advisor here at Purl. I am an adoptive parent and respite/emergency placement foster parent. I wanted to take some time to share about my experience with foster care. There are several different types of licenses within foster care and my home ...
The guest speaker of today’s blog is a birth mom who wishes to stay anonymous. She shares with us a little bit about her daughter’s adoption and what it was like dealing the emotions that came with it. ——— According to an online search, regret is defined as a feeling ...
Purl’s new Adoption Advisor, Kelcie Grace, shares her family’s domestic infant adoption story - the joy, the heartache, and everything in between. She shares her experience working with and adoption advisor like Purl and why she decided to join the Purl team after completing her adoption. Click here to read Kelcie Grace’s story.
When you are an adoptive parent, you are bound to get questions from friends, family and strangers alike about the details of your child’s adoption story, particularly if you have adopted transracially. As a mom of two girls only eight months apart in age. I can’t seem to get out of a public place without questioning stares and at least one person asking me how I managed to get two such adorable, but completely different looking children. I have never had a trip to Costco with the girls without some egregious question or comment. But it is my job as an adoptive parent to protect my child’s adoption story at all costs, something I didn’t learn as early as I would have liked. Click here to read more.
I’ve heard of a few circumstances lately where prospective adoptive parents act entitled to the child they have been chosen for, both before and after the birth of the child, but before consents are signed. This is one area I feel like prospective adoptive parents pursuing domestic infant adoption need the most education on - the respect and love that is required for any expectant mother they come into contact with in their adoption journey, and ultimately for the birth mother for their child.
As I spoke about in my post yesterday, the domestic adoption process is so awkward in that you are essentially saying yes or no to a child. Sometimes you are doing it just by setting preferences in your adoption, but sometimes you’re actually reviewing a summary of an adoption opportunity and saying yes or no as to whether to present your family profile to the expectant family considering adoption for that child. When prospective adoptive parents start to consider their adoption preferences, many have no idea what they should say when adoption professionals ask what types of circumstances they would consider. Here are just a few of the things you should research and educate yourself on as you determine your adoption preferences, as well as some resources for helping you navigate these difficult decisions.
One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences”, see adoption opportunities based on those preferences and then basically have to make a choice whether to “present” to an expectant parent choosing adoption for their child. Click here to read more about this awkwardness in the domestic infant adoption process.
I can’t help but focus on this key phrase now that I know more, now that I’ve spent five years listening to adoptees’ voices, particularly those adoptees that experience serious discontent with their adoptions. The phrase that hits me hard as the truth now: Different isn’t better. An adoptive parent may be able to offer a more financially stable home, more opportunities for education, extracurricular activities and travel. But, the trade off to that is that there was still maternal separation and that child will likely experience trauma and loss due to their adoption, in a transracial adoption, there might also be loss associated with separation from their culture. So that child’s life will definitely be different, the adoptee will face different hardships after an adoption than they would have had in their biological home, but there will be hardships nonetheless. Click here to read more on Katie’s reflections.
In this blog post, I (Tessa Reagan Vilte, Purl Adoption Advisor) share reflections on my sons first birthday. Birthdays in a family built by adoption can be different, there is a lot more weight and emotion that goes into them. In this post I share how this birthday, the whirlwind that was my child’s’ first year, the grief I was holding for him, his story and his birth mom caught up with me. Click here to read more of Tessa’s reflections on this day.