Learn2022-03-24T13:18:01-07:00

Learn more about the adoption process.

Adoption Preferences In Your Journey

November 8, 2021|Adoption Education, Adoption Process, Drug/Alcohol Exposure, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn), Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

As I spoke about in my post yesterday, the domestic adoption process is so awkward in that you are essentially saying yes or no to a child. Sometimes you are doing it just by setting preferences in your adoption, but sometimes you’re actually reviewing a summary of an adoption opportunity and saying yes or no as to whether to present your family profile to the expectant family considering adoption for that child. When prospective adoptive parents start to consider their adoption preferences, many have no idea what they should say when adoption professionals ask what types of circumstances they would consider. Here are just a few of the things you should research and educate yourself on as you determine your adoption preferences, as well as some resources for helping you navigate these difficult decisions.

Choices You Must Make In Domestic Adoption

November 8, 2021|Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn), Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences”, see adoption opportunities based on those preferences and then basically have to make a choice whether to “present” to an expectant parent choosing adoption for their child. Click here to read more about this awkwardness in the domestic infant adoption process.

Choosing Adoption Professionals for Your Journey

November 4, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

Who you choose to help you navigate your adoption journey is probably the most important step in the domestic infant adoption process. As we have discussed many times in past blog posts, we feel the best option for domestic infant adoption is to have someone guide you through the process, like we do at Purl. We encourage you to watch our video on The Real Scoop About Hiring an Adoption Advisor/Consultant we prepared a few years ago, to help you in selecting the right adoption advisor/consultant for you. To read more about how we recommend selecting attorneys/agencies in their journey, read more of our brief update below.

The Steps in a Domestic Infant Adoption Process

November 4, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption Home Study, Adoption Process, Adoption Profile, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

Many people consider adopting but become too discouraged by the complexity of the adoption process to proceed past an initial thought. Adoption requires research, education, preparation, money and time, with a lot of challenges along the way. No two adoptions will be the same, and each state's laws are a little different, but each domestic infant adoption will typically follow the same general steps: Click here to read more about the steps we recommend in the domestic infant adoption process.

We want to adopt, but what type of adoption is right for our family?

November 1, 2021|Adoption Education, Learn|

There are many different ways to adopt, and deciding which route is right for you BEFORE you start the process is really important. Each of these types of adoptions discussed in this post will have different steps in the process, so it is helpful to do a lot of research on adoption generally (particularly the loss inherent in adoption) and talk with different adoption professionals first to determine the best route for you and your family — before you spend any substantial sum of money. In this post, you will find a brief discussion on domestic infant adoption, international adoption, adopting through foster care, and even embryo donation/adoption (really not adoption at all in most cases). We hope this quick summary will help you determine if any of these options are right for you.

National Adoption Awareness Month

November 1, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

During the month of November we raise awareness of adoption during National Adoption Awareness Month. While every type of adoption is recognized this month, the particular focus this month is to raise awareness about the urgent need for adoptive families for children and youth in foster care. The number of children and teens needing homes is evident by looking at AdoptUSKids or heart galleries typically showing available children by state. The history of National Adoption Awareness Month dates back to 1976 when the Governor of Massachusetts announced the first Adoption Week. This idea grew in popularity and quickly spread nation wide. In 1995, President Clinton expanded the week to the entire month of November. I have given other ideas on how to recognize National Adoption Day in years past. This year, to recognize National Adoption Awareness Month, we’re going to post each day about some topic in adoption, but focusing on education and helping families better understand the adoption process and what things you might experience if you adopt. To learn more about us and how we plan to cover National Adoption Awareness Month, click here.

A Different Life, Not a Better Life

October 19, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

I can’t help but focus on this key phrase now that I know more, now that I’ve spent five years listening to adoptees’ voices, particularly those adoptees that experience serious discontent with their adoptions. The phrase that hits me hard as the truth now: Different isn’t better. An adoptive parent may be able to offer a more financially stable home, more opportunities for education, extracurricular activities and travel. But, the trade off to that is that there was still maternal separation and that child will likely experience trauma and loss due to their adoption, in a transracial adoption, there might also be loss associated with separation from their culture. So that child’s life will definitely be different, the adoptee will face different hardships after an adoption than they would have had in their biological home, but there will be hardships nonetheless. Click here to read more on Katie’s reflections.

Birthday Reflections

October 18, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Domestic infant adoption, Open Adoption (Learn)|

In this blog post, I (Tessa Reagan Vilte, Purl Adoption Advisor) share reflections on my sons first birthday. Birthdays in a family built by adoption can be different, there is a lot more weight and emotion that goes into them. In this post I share how this birthday, the whirlwind that was my child’s’ first year, the grief I was holding for him, his story and his birth mom caught up with me. Click here to read more of Tessa’s reflections on this day.

Funding Your Adoption With Adoption Grants

October 7, 2021|Adoption Grants, Adoption Process|

In this post, Adoption Advisor - Tessa Reagan Vilte shares her experience with grants throughout her personal adoption journey and encouragement and advice for families hoping to secure grants for funding. “Securing grants for our adoption was not easy. In order to receive an adoption grant, you are usually completing long grant applications, and even paying some application fees. For someone going through the adoption process, more paperwork (and more money, without guaranteed success) adds tremendous stress. An advisor like Purl offers a list of active grants you can apply for and qualifications needed for each grant, which saves you a lot of time and energy in your adoption journey.” Click here to learn more about funding your adoption through grants.

Donor Conception and its Impact on Future Generations

October 2, 2021|Adoption Education, Embryo Donation/Adoption, Infertility, Open Adoption (Learn)|

Purl’s Director of Graphic Design, Ali Alvidrez, has been helping families adopt through profile and outreach material design for Purl for over four years. Ali is the only member of the Purl Team who is not a member of the adoption triad. However, Ali’s family experience with assisted reproduction is relevant to the impact of embryo donation/adoption on future generations. As Purl expands into guidance in embryo donation/adoption, Ali felt compelled to share her personal experience on the impact of donor conception on her definition of “family'“ today. In this blog post, Ali shares her relationship to a biological half-sister through assisted reproduction.

Our New Adoption Advisor Shares Her Personal Adoption Story

September 24, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Open Adoption (Learn)|

Purl’s newest Adoption Advisor, Tessa Reagan Vilte, shares her own personal adoption journey in today’s blog. She shares what it was like adopting with the support of a different adoption consultant. She also shares why she decided to join Purl. To learn more about Tessa’s story, and the different experience working with a different adoption consultant, click here.

What NOT to do when you’re chosen…

July 8, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Hoping to Adopt|

If you’ve been following us awhile, you’ll notice that a lot of our Purl families have recently been chosen as prospective adoptive parents by an expectant family considering adoption for their child. Being “chosen” is a necessary step in adoption. But if it comes before the time consents are signed, it is just one step in an adoption plan that may never come to fruition. For that reason, I am always very cautious about what a prospective adoptive family does when they are chosen by an expectant family. In fact, here are some things I DO NOT think you should do once you are chosen. Click here to read more.

It’s not about you…and you will likely be uncomfortable

June 10, 2021|Adoption Disruption, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Infertility, Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

If you’re starting the adoption journey you might not realize that the rest of this journey WILL NOT be about you. You might have endured a lot of pain to get here, infertility, failed IUI or IVF cycles, failed embryo adoption or surrogacy. Really, really tough stuff. But I’m going to tell you something difficult to hear, most likely if you are here now and pursuing domestic infant adoption: your mindset will now have to immediately shift and all your decisions from here need to be about your future child through adoption (the adoptee) and what is best for them. You need to be able to justify every decision you make, and feel comfortable telling your future child the decisions you made and steps you took to adopt. To read more, click here.

Who Should Consider Embryo Adoption?

June 1, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Embryo Donation/Adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Infertility|

The domestic infant adoption world has changed significantly in the last few years, but particularly since the pandemic began. There are less domestic adoption opportunities and many more prospective adoptive families waiting to adopt than usual. In many ways that is positive, if it means that pregnant moms are able to parent their children. But it can be very difficult for families looking to grow their families through adoption. Because of that, many families have turned to embryo donation/adoption, another assisted reproduction method to grow a family, but potentially at lower cost and with different risks than traditional infant adoption. There are hundreds of thousands of frozen embryos nationwide, with many available immediately for closed to open donation/adoption for families able to carry a pregnancy to term. So the question is, who can potentially find success with embryo donation/adoption? This article will give you some factors to consider when deciding if embryo donation/adoption is right for you.

What about Embryo Adoption?

April 16, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Embryo Donation/Adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Infertility|

Today, we are sharing our own experience researching and pursuing embryo adoption after our first adoption opportunity disrupted. We are sharing this in part to educate you on embryo adoption as a potential option to grow your family, which can work for many families who have experienced infertility. But we are also considering offering a limited coaching package to guide families through their options associated with embryo adoption and then help them navigate the embryo adoption process, assuming domestic infant adoption is not the right route for them. Click here to read more and to share your thoughts on whether this service is currently needed in this space.

“Zimmerman Day”, our Finalization Day

April 8, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

Cora’s adoption was finalized on April 7, 2016, a day we coin “Zimmerman Day” in our home. Unlike some other adoptive families, we grew our family through adoption first, and then through a surprise pregnancy that led to our daughter Raelyn 8 months later. So when it came time to decide if/how we were going to celebrate Cora’s adoption finalization day, I struggled to find a way to celebrate what was an important day in our family, at the same time not leaving out our younger daughter, who didn’t have a corresponding day. We came up with “Zimmerman Day”, the day that our whole family shares the same last name. It isn’t a big holiday around our house, there are no gifts, no special hats or tiaras, but there is one messy homemade cake with a big Z on it, and as many sprinkles as will stick to it (which for the record is A LOT). Both of my girls get so excited to help make the cake and help decorate it, and the grandparents usually come over for dinner and cake. I don’t know how Cora is going to feel about this day when she’s older and has had time to understand the significance of it, but for now she loves another day between everyone’s birthdays to celebrate our family. Click here to learn more, and to learn what I think of the term “forever family” day…

The Impact of COVID-19 on Adoption Today

April 2, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Outreach, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

If you’ve been following us awhile, you may have read our updates over the past year on the impact of COVID-19 on adoption. If you missed them, you can check out our first update in late March 2020 and a later update in July 2020. Now that more and more people are getting vaccinated and many states have reopened, you are likely interested in knowing how COVID-19 is continuing to impact adoptions. Here is a quick post to consider the status of adopting in and after a pandemic. Click here to learn more. 

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Adoption Preferences In Your Journey

November 8, 2021|Adoption Education, Adoption Process, Drug/Alcohol Exposure, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn), Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

As I spoke about in my post yesterday, the domestic adoption process is so awkward in that you are essentially saying yes or no to a child. Sometimes you are doing it just by setting preferences in your adoption, but sometimes you’re actually reviewing a summary of an adoption opportunity and saying yes or no as to whether to present your family profile to the expectant family considering adoption for that child. When prospective adoptive parents start to consider their adoption preferences, many have no idea what they should say when adoption professionals ask what types of circumstances they would consider. Here are just a few of the things you should research and educate yourself on as you determine your adoption preferences, as well as some resources for helping you navigate these difficult decisions.

Choices You Must Make In Domestic Adoption

November 8, 2021|Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn), Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences”, see adoption opportunities based on those preferences and then basically have to make a choice whether to “present” to an expectant parent choosing adoption for their child. Click here to read more about this awkwardness in the domestic infant adoption process.

Choosing Adoption Professionals for Your Journey

November 4, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

Who you choose to help you navigate your adoption journey is probably the most important step in the domestic infant adoption process. As we have discussed many times in past blog posts, we feel the best option for domestic infant adoption is to have someone guide you through the process, like we do at Purl. We encourage you to watch our video on The Real Scoop About Hiring an Adoption Advisor/Consultant we prepared a few years ago, to help you in selecting the right adoption advisor/consultant for you. To read more about how we recommend selecting attorneys/agencies in their journey, read more of our brief update below.

The Steps in a Domestic Infant Adoption Process

November 4, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption Home Study, Adoption Process, Adoption Profile, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

Many people consider adopting but become too discouraged by the complexity of the adoption process to proceed past an initial thought. Adoption requires research, education, preparation, money and time, with a lot of challenges along the way. No two adoptions will be the same, and each state's laws are a little different, but each domestic infant adoption will typically follow the same general steps: Click here to read more about the steps we recommend in the domestic infant adoption process.

We want to adopt, but what type of adoption is right for our family?

November 1, 2021|Adoption Education, Learn|

There are many different ways to adopt, and deciding which route is right for you BEFORE you start the process is really important. Each of these types of adoptions discussed in this post will have different steps in the process, so it is helpful to do a lot of research on adoption generally (particularly the loss inherent in adoption) and talk with different adoption professionals first to determine the best route for you and your family — before you spend any substantial sum of money. In this post, you will find a brief discussion on domestic infant adoption, international adoption, adopting through foster care, and even embryo donation/adoption (really not adoption at all in most cases). We hope this quick summary will help you determine if any of these options are right for you.

National Adoption Awareness Month

November 1, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

During the month of November we raise awareness of adoption during National Adoption Awareness Month. While every type of adoption is recognized this month, the particular focus this month is to raise awareness about the urgent need for adoptive families for children and youth in foster care. The number of children and teens needing homes is evident by looking at AdoptUSKids or heart galleries typically showing available children by state. The history of National Adoption Awareness Month dates back to 1976 when the Governor of Massachusetts announced the first Adoption Week. This idea grew in popularity and quickly spread nation wide. In 1995, President Clinton expanded the week to the entire month of November. I have given other ideas on how to recognize National Adoption Day in years past. This year, to recognize National Adoption Awareness Month, we’re going to post each day about some topic in adoption, but focusing on education and helping families better understand the adoption process and what things you might experience if you adopt. To learn more about us and how we plan to cover National Adoption Awareness Month, click here.

A Different Life, Not a Better Life

October 19, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

I can’t help but focus on this key phrase now that I know more, now that I’ve spent five years listening to adoptees’ voices, particularly those adoptees that experience serious discontent with their adoptions. The phrase that hits me hard as the truth now: Different isn’t better. An adoptive parent may be able to offer a more financially stable home, more opportunities for education, extracurricular activities and travel. But, the trade off to that is that there was still maternal separation and that child will likely experience trauma and loss due to their adoption, in a transracial adoption, there might also be loss associated with separation from their culture. So that child’s life will definitely be different, the adoptee will face different hardships after an adoption than they would have had in their biological home, but there will be hardships nonetheless. Click here to read more on Katie’s reflections.

Birthday Reflections

October 18, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Domestic infant adoption, Open Adoption (Learn)|

In this blog post, I (Tessa Reagan Vilte, Purl Adoption Advisor) share reflections on my sons first birthday. Birthdays in a family built by adoption can be different, there is a lot more weight and emotion that goes into them. In this post I share how this birthday, the whirlwind that was my child’s’ first year, the grief I was holding for him, his story and his birth mom caught up with me. Click here to read more of Tessa’s reflections on this day.

Funding Your Adoption With Adoption Grants

October 7, 2021|Adoption Grants, Adoption Process|

In this post, Adoption Advisor - Tessa Reagan Vilte shares her experience with grants throughout her personal adoption journey and encouragement and advice for families hoping to secure grants for funding. “Securing grants for our adoption was not easy. In order to receive an adoption grant, you are usually completing long grant applications, and even paying some application fees. For someone going through the adoption process, more paperwork (and more money, without guaranteed success) adds tremendous stress. An advisor like Purl offers a list of active grants you can apply for and qualifications needed for each grant, which saves you a lot of time and energy in your adoption journey.” Click here to learn more about funding your adoption through grants.

Donor Conception and its Impact on Future Generations

October 2, 2021|Adoption Education, Embryo Donation/Adoption, Infertility, Open Adoption (Learn)|

Purl’s Director of Graphic Design, Ali Alvidrez, has been helping families adopt through profile and outreach material design for Purl for over four years. Ali is the only member of the Purl Team who is not a member of the adoption triad. However, Ali’s family experience with assisted reproduction is relevant to the impact of embryo donation/adoption on future generations. As Purl expands into guidance in embryo donation/adoption, Ali felt compelled to share her personal experience on the impact of donor conception on her definition of “family'“ today. In this blog post, Ali shares her relationship to a biological half-sister through assisted reproduction.

Our New Adoption Advisor Shares Her Personal Adoption Story

September 24, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Open Adoption (Learn)|

Purl’s newest Adoption Advisor, Tessa Reagan Vilte, shares her own personal adoption journey in today’s blog. She shares what it was like adopting with the support of a different adoption consultant. She also shares why she decided to join Purl. To learn more about Tessa’s story, and the different experience working with a different adoption consultant, click here.

What NOT to do when you’re chosen…

July 8, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Hoping to Adopt|

If you’ve been following us awhile, you’ll notice that a lot of our Purl families have recently been chosen as prospective adoptive parents by an expectant family considering adoption for their child. Being “chosen” is a necessary step in adoption. But if it comes before the time consents are signed, it is just one step in an adoption plan that may never come to fruition. For that reason, I am always very cautious about what a prospective adoptive family does when they are chosen by an expectant family. In fact, here are some things I DO NOT think you should do once you are chosen. Click here to read more.

It’s not about you…and you will likely be uncomfortable

June 10, 2021|Adoption Disruption, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Infertility, Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

If you’re starting the adoption journey you might not realize that the rest of this journey WILL NOT be about you. You might have endured a lot of pain to get here, infertility, failed IUI or IVF cycles, failed embryo adoption or surrogacy. Really, really tough stuff. But I’m going to tell you something difficult to hear, most likely if you are here now and pursuing domestic infant adoption: your mindset will now have to immediately shift and all your decisions from here need to be about your future child through adoption (the adoptee) and what is best for them. You need to be able to justify every decision you make, and feel comfortable telling your future child the decisions you made and steps you took to adopt. To read more, click here.

Who Should Consider Embryo Adoption?

June 1, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Embryo Donation/Adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Infertility|

The domestic infant adoption world has changed significantly in the last few years, but particularly since the pandemic began. There are less domestic adoption opportunities and many more prospective adoptive families waiting to adopt than usual. In many ways that is positive, if it means that pregnant moms are able to parent their children. But it can be very difficult for families looking to grow their families through adoption. Because of that, many families have turned to embryo donation/adoption, another assisted reproduction method to grow a family, but potentially at lower cost and with different risks than traditional infant adoption. There are hundreds of thousands of frozen embryos nationwide, with many available immediately for closed to open donation/adoption for families able to carry a pregnancy to term. So the question is, who can potentially find success with embryo donation/adoption? This article will give you some factors to consider when deciding if embryo donation/adoption is right for you.

What about Embryo Adoption?

April 16, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Embryo Donation/Adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Infertility|

Today, we are sharing our own experience researching and pursuing embryo adoption after our first adoption opportunity disrupted. We are sharing this in part to educate you on embryo adoption as a potential option to grow your family, which can work for many families who have experienced infertility. But we are also considering offering a limited coaching package to guide families through their options associated with embryo adoption and then help them navigate the embryo adoption process, assuming domestic infant adoption is not the right route for them. Click here to read more and to share your thoughts on whether this service is currently needed in this space.

“Zimmerman Day”, our Finalization Day

April 8, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

Cora’s adoption was finalized on April 7, 2016, a day we coin “Zimmerman Day” in our home. Unlike some other adoptive families, we grew our family through adoption first, and then through a surprise pregnancy that led to our daughter Raelyn 8 months later. So when it came time to decide if/how we were going to celebrate Cora’s adoption finalization day, I struggled to find a way to celebrate what was an important day in our family, at the same time not leaving out our younger daughter, who didn’t have a corresponding day. We came up with “Zimmerman Day”, the day that our whole family shares the same last name. It isn’t a big holiday around our house, there are no gifts, no special hats or tiaras, but there is one messy homemade cake with a big Z on it, and as many sprinkles as will stick to it (which for the record is A LOT). Both of my girls get so excited to help make the cake and help decorate it, and the grandparents usually come over for dinner and cake. I don’t know how Cora is going to feel about this day when she’s older and has had time to understand the significance of it, but for now she loves another day between everyone’s birthdays to celebrate our family. Click here to learn more, and to learn what I think of the term “forever family” day…

The Impact of COVID-19 on Adoption Today

April 2, 2021|Adoption Advisor/Consultant, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Outreach, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

If you’ve been following us awhile, you may have read our updates over the past year on the impact of COVID-19 on adoption. If you missed them, you can check out our first update in late March 2020 and a later update in July 2020. Now that more and more people are getting vaccinated and many states have reopened, you are likely interested in knowing how COVID-19 is continuing to impact adoptions. Here is a quick post to consider the status of adopting in and after a pandemic. Click here to learn more. 

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